Fool-proof, fully automatic, autonomous intruder alarms for sale.

23rd April 2012: I can personally guarantee that this intruder alarm is the best on the market. It’s not a new product; it’s been about for quite a long time. It incorporates an intelligent state-of-the-art biological processor and believe me, it is pretty much fool-proof. Get within 100 metres of this baby and it gives out one of the most annoyingly loud honking alarm sounds I have ever encountered, which is virtually impossible to ignore. The good news is that it automatically switches to surveillance mode as soon as the threat recedes. I can assure everyone that the sophisticated defence strategies programmed deep within the workings of this highly desirable unit are second to none, making it extremely difficult for a burglar/thief to bypass or in any way interfere with it. Should anyone try to disable this unit, it will switch to attack mode leaving the thief/burglar with no option other than to leap your fence in a frantic attempt to escape the well proven ‘beak shock and awe anti-theft technology’.

The sensitivity of this model’s proximity sensors, which perform equally well during the night as in the daytime, is reduced by placing a physical barrier around the alarm. A larch lap fence is a good way to reduce the range of its sensors; you wouldn’t want this alarm activated by people walking down the street. Furthermore, the system will automatically detect foxes, should there be a chicken coup or pet rabbits housed in the garden.

Batteries are not required, and you won’t need to connect it to a power supply. It doesn’t have any controls that need to be fiddled with, either. There is one drawback: an on/off switch is not provided – the alarm is permanently on. The unit is powered by an internal, tamper-proof, organic digester based power source. To turn the unit off, it is necessary to stop the supply of biological matter to its digester: eventually, it will run out of power. A word of warning: this unit is fully autonomous and needs to be securely confined within the area it is intended to protect.

We have trialed  these intruder alarms at Wilden Marsh for many years, and we are more than happy with both their extremely low running costs and their excellent effectiveness.

For further information about this superb product, please contact mike.at.wilden.marsh@hotmail.co.uk

Time wasters and personal callers are not welcome.

Marsh intruder alarm.


20 Comments on “Fool-proof, fully automatic, autonomous intruder alarms for sale.

    • Doh! I’ll never be a great salesman, Tom. My sales figures for the Wilden Marsh Intruder Alarm System are abysmal. Never mind, we can’t all be entrepreneurs.

  1. Great sense of humour! When I saw the guy, It reminded me when I was a kid and the adults keep warning about not getting too close…:-)

  2. Great post! The Occupy Wall Street Movement just moved in down the street and chased all my honkers away. I needed a hit of “Honk” Thanks

  3. I can vouch that this unit works with wonderful and sometimes deadly results. I still carry emotional scars from being intimidated by it that time I tried to take photos of a pond where one was installed. It let out its reverberating alarm and glared at me…yes, alarm systems with biological processors know how to glare. I got my photos but at a price. Though this alarm system doesn’t deter me as much as the white one does…..

  4. And… if you act now…
    we will send another unit. When positioned correctly, it will also act as the best wake-up alarm on the block. If you like to arise bright and early… this one is for you. And, it even works on mornings when you forget to set it.
    😉

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